I’m staring at the computer screen.

Whenever I get up and go away, I am compelled to sit down and write, yet as I sit here nothing comes to mind. It all flitters away the second the bootup sound hits my ears.

All of a sudden, nothing to say, nothing to share. No experiences from the last week to reflect upon, just an overwhelming urge to search the internet for reasons why my girlfriends phone doesn’t reliably send text messages.

Someone else’s problem to solve, to distract me from my own. Distract me from the feeling that I have spent so much time practicing, that I no longer know what to do with myself when I am not?

Is that it? Not sure, still searching for the reason perhaps.

This week was a draining one. Often working till 8 or 9 at night and, unlike last week, only got to meditate 3 times. This was partly due to being hungover mid week…which btw was a horrible idea, despite my claims to the contrary. That morning was great, possibly.. but then 2 hours later I realized I had to stay awake for the rest of the day…oops.

Today I got some practice in at the park, 15 minutes of meditation along with several forms. The final form was very yang, very explosive as I dug out that suppressed energy from the weeks haul, but overall the term I would use to define the forms was sluggish.

I got some 48’s in just to make sure i kept it fresh. Tomorrow will be the 83, aiming for 2 run throug’hs chiming in at an hour or so of practice at least.

Wading through several days of built up mental stress caused the forms to feel a bit like I was mentally trudging through knee high mud. Though, it felt great to be out there. The sun was out and there was sounds of laughter from the kids learning to ride their bikes and playing on the playground.

Seriously missing my afternoon practice. I have been breaking off around 3 every other day to do some Qigong with a coworker, but we only do about half an hour. Perhaps next week I will start to throw an hour or so of form work at night to get rid of the days stress.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jkelsey440
    Sep 24, 2016 @ 23:35:09

    Sounds like a valid response to putting in long hours. It’s okay to relax a little.😊

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  2. Chris Kelsey
    Sep 25, 2016 @ 07:35:13

    Great report. Sounds like you got the mental juices flowing again just by talking yourself through it. Does she have an iPhone? I have problems with my texting also. My problem is that the alarm announcing a new text quits operating after a while. When I set a new alarm sound it begins working for about one day.

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    • TheRestlessRaven
      Sep 25, 2016 @ 08:56:30

      Sounds like you need a new phone! She has an Android with the Google Fi service provider. Seems to be an issue only with certain providers……

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      Reply

  3. Malcolm Dean
    Sep 29, 2016 @ 15:41:55

    “…the feeling that I have spent so much time practicing, that I no longer know what to do with myself when I am not…”

    Not? Not practicing? What do you mean?

    The highest practice in Tibetan Buddhism is called Dzogchen: ‘self-liberation through natural awareness’. Each thing, each experience, is allowed to liberate into itself. So simple. Just unbroken mindfulness.

    Liked by 1 person

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